She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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