We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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