chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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