i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
