and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
