If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
