i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We got so high we made milksteak
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
