if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
