y did u give ur computer a hand job?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
