we're blogging at a bar
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
