and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
