She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He told me they were just razor bumps!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
PANTIES FOUND
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