There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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