i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
