got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
