I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
