Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
