I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
