He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
