There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
