We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
