I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
