dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I want to be your penis for a week.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
