She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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