you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
