debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
