I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
