I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
