I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
