I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Everything about him screamed your future.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
