i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
