i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
