I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
