so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
