He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
