arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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