She said her name was "party"
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
