Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
