were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
