how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
