you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
