I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The beer is more important than you right now.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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