We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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