All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
