Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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