the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Operation Purity has been aborted
bring money and cleavage
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
