your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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