Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's shark week go big or go home
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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