And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
