I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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