how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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