I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
