Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
