:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
