you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
They are going to name an STD after you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
