I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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