ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
