i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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