I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
